"King in My Own Reality" a poem by Charles Anthony Hood

Driving the wrong way down the four-lane…

Headlights headed straight toward me…

I honk my horn as if it will make a difference.

Red and Blue Lights flashing behind me:

I drive away as fast as I can, hoping I can outrun…

The police—I couldn’t outrun them, though.

They came for me like sharks devouring…

Chum in the water, but I came out on top.

They couldn’t break my mind or spirit,

Even though they held me in solitary confinement.

Perhaps, dear person, you may ask, “Why were…

You running from the police?”

I might reply, “Schizoaffective disorder.”

I am not ashamed to have a psychotic disorder,

Because I did not ask for it or volunteer for it.

Auditory and Visual Hallucinations,

Depression or Mania depending on my level of stress,

Hyper-religious Delusions and…

A mind trapped in its own imagination—

I am a prisoner in this body.

Two little white pills keep me sane…

From day to day—medicine for an illness.

In my psychology studies, we learned…

There is a stigma in society surrounding…

Mental illness—I will not be ashamed!

The night I was arrested was bonkers!

I was hearing voices in my mind.

Those voices were telling me I was the new Pope.

“Drive on the opposite side of the road. That is…

What a pope can do—power and control.”

Charged with 5 felonies and a misdemeanor,

It was the worst trouble my mental illness…

Has ever caused for me, but I don’t want sympathy.

I had a situation in life, and I faced it alone.

No one bailed me out, letters were sparce,

And I realized that I’m alone.

There was no one to help me.

Some people claim they tried to help,

But even if they tried their best…

It wasn’t good enough to make a difference.

A concrete floor with a drain in the center…

Graffiti on the walls from other poor souls…

That had to spend wretched nights there.

I was out of my mind the whole time,

Thinking I was in another reality.

I was in another reality…

A reality created by my imagination.

My delusions became truths within themselves.

I did not question the authority or validity of…

My delusions: I was King in My Own Reality.

Comments

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Charles Anthony Hood

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