"Leave the Fighting to the Professionals" a monologue by Charles Anthony Hood

Back when I was 14, Jimmy Duncan said, “I’m gonna stomp a mud hole in you after school!” I said, “Just tell me where to meet you!” “The high school football field!” He was pissed because little Chrissy Thurgood dumped him and announced that she was my girlfriend.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna fight Jimmy Duncan!” My friend, Zack, said. “I’ve never been in a fight!” I said, my stomach turning. “Oh my God! You’re gonna get your ass kicked!” Zack said.

I met Zack on the first day of 1^st grade. We were fast friends. Each year, from 1^st grade through 8^th grade, we had each other’s back. He was a small boy with bony arms and legs, and his glasses could’ve easily started a forest fire.

Zack met me in the gym for our last class of the day. We were in the locker room putting on our gym clothes. “Dude, you are so dead if I don’t help you.” He said. “How are you going to help?” I had already been preparing for my end. “Just trust me.” He winked.

Everybody in class had heard that I was going to fight Jimmy Duncan on the high school football field after school. Of course, there was a crowd gathered. “There he is! He actually came!” Someone said.

Jimmy exited from the gym and was walking toward us. Some people whooped. I wanted to run. “Dear God, help me!” I said under my breath.

Jimmy was so big, and I was just a little guy. I started stretching to buy some time. “Come on, puss! Ain’t you ready!” Jimmy said.

The next moment, Zack and a dozen of our friends, all armed with water balloons, took over the football field. Water balloons were flying in all directions. Kids were running and screaming but still getting wet. After all was said and done, I went home wet, but I didn’t fight Jimmy.

I was thanking my lucky stars for Zack and my friends. Fighting is dangerous: people can get severely injured or even die. I prefer to have a good discussion over a violent fight any day. I leave the fighting to the professionals.

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